Last Day of Summer Vacation

Today is officially my last day of vacation.  I've been off work since April 21st and you'd think I'd be ready to go back but I'm not.  

Annie's baptism is coming up this weekend and we are so excited.  Mom bought Annie a new gown because the family gown too small.  Annie's still a peanut but she's a bit older and bigger than Emma was.  The family gown was worn by my sisters, Tricia and Tammie, myself, and Emma.  I took Annie's gown and some gifts to have them blessed.  I can't wait to see Annie's godparents, Kurt and Annie, (this is going to get really confusing, I know), and everyone else who is taking the weekend to travel here.  

Kurt and I are making some progress.  Our therapist has been establishing rules for discussions, particularly regarding conflict.  Essentially, he's teaching us how to fight fair.  The issues are to be dealt with later.  We are understanding the perpetual cycle we have established with each other - me being vocal and Kurt being reserved.  Our therapist also wants us to spend 20 minutes a day and 2 hours a week for time that is not centered on kids or issues.  The 2 hours is supposed to be for a date and with school starting it's going to be a challenge.  The 20 minutes will be a challenge since we won't see each other until after 10 at night but a 2 hour date concerns me.  I hate to take time on the weekends away from the girls but as a good friend was kind enough to point out, I'm "addicted to [my] kids."  We're not "fixed" and I feel this is more of a change of lifestyle than a repair, but we're headed in the right direction.  What we both noticed after last weekend is that the resentment is dissipating.  It's a huge improvement from this time last week when we were discussing separation.  But, it's just a start.  I think the hard work is yet to come.

I'm supposed to be working on things for school, cleaning my house, and getting my homework done (yes, I too have homework - I have two classes this semester) but I'm posting instead.  Annie's case manager is coming at 3:30.  She tried to tell me yesterday that I had rescheduled from yesterday morning to this afternoon and I know I never would have done that.  She was an hour late the last time she was here so hopefully today goes well.

Thanks again for all the well wishes and notes of encouragement.  Please continue to pray for all of us.

And going on a little further he fell on his face and prayed. 'My Father,' he said, 'if it is possible, let this cup pass me by. Nevertheless, let it be as you, not I, would have it.'  - Matthew 26:39